If the River Leaves Without Me (SATB)

Program Notes

Something that looks brave on the outside doesn’t always feel brave on the inside. 

Sometimes what that feels right to us on the inside can separate us from the flow of everyone and everything around us. And yet, we are still compelled to take that first step away from the familiar, well-trodden path and into the unknown. 

This piece is about that moment of deciding to embrace an unknown path – which can feel like stepping out of a powerful, flowing river… and watching everyone else float away, carefree, while you’re left standing on the shore. But the terror you might feel by letting go of someone else’s vision is nothing compared to the beauty you can discover on the path you choose.

Find what that beckons you to step out of that endless flow — and and when you find your footing, you’ll discover so many new and incredible pathways to explore.

—

Note: The text for this piece came from a commencement speech I gave for the Colburn School of Music in June 2020. What do you say to a class of musicians graduating into the darkest days of a global pandemic, when anything you could possibly say about the ‘right path’ is completely irrelevant? It was speaking about those moments of stepping into total darkness that generated the ideas in this piece. I also have to thank Austin Classical Guitar, and especially Claire Puckett and Travis Marcum for this piece — these ideas resurfaced during a songwriting workshop we did together, and most of the piece just magically came together in that very short time.

Text

At the edge of my own life,
Stepping out of the river
And the river leaves without me.
Without me.

If the river leaves without me.
I’ll flow on.

There are so many ways to get there,
You can swim,
You can walk, 
You can fly or run.

You choose the path you follow,
The river is not the only one.

Recording

A recording of the SATB version is not yet available, but here is a recording of the original SSAA version:

Premiere/Performances

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